How do I tell my friend she's dating a loser?

        Urban Dictionary

Do you have a friend blinded by a loser?

MY Loser definition: cute unemployed freeloader, who say's whatever they have to in order to get you to stick around.

Signs that tell you whats up

NUMBER ONE- He's always broke

• Loser boyfriends will have a thousand different excuses as to why they never have any money.He will tell you plans of how he is going to make it all better, and how much hes going to contribute when he gets a steady steam of income. You never see the paycheck and he continues his laziness.He continues to say hes"looking" for work but comes up with all sorts of reasons why he doesn't think its the "right fit" or the boss was a jerk, ect. Leading to you support his ass while he sits his on the couch all day.

NUMBER TWO- He's lazy

• Im not just talking about sitting on the couch watching movies or playing video games. I am talking about all the small things that show a lack of motivation. Picking up their kleenex or dish, changing the toilette paper roll, not picking up the paper that fell on the floor an hour ago. These things all show lack of motivation and also lack of respect for your own environment. This could lead to problems as nobody wants to to EVERYTHING in a relationship, could get very stressful and frustrating.

NUMBER THREE-He's unpredictable

• Does he go out and binge drink? or maybe he spends all the gas money on fast food with friends or going out to the pub to have a few pints.You never know where he is,where hes going, who hes with and how late hes coming home, and when you ask hes says I was out.(spending your money)

Those are basic tell all signs that could potentially lead to more problems. Understand that this can also be a woman's behavior not just men.

 

WHAT YOU CAN DO

 Identify the guy-What is it that makes him a loser? is he sleazy,rude,temperamental,lazy,disrespectful ect. What kind of a jerk is he, cause without knowing, you have nothing to argue.

 Best time-Pick a time that is suitable. If he just finished bringing her flowers or told her she looks beautiful that day, probably not the right time. Wait until they are in a disagreement about something so shes not just blinded by the sweet gestures he does to cover his ass.

Tell her facts not emotions- Don't say things like hes such a loser or hes such a jerk and that you hate him. Tell her why you think hes not right for her.

Say things like, I think hes spending all your money ,he hits on girls all the time or he parties to much. Make sure you use "I" as in "I feel" or "I notice" this will make sure she knows you have her best interest at heart and not just because you want more girl time.

Don't go behind her back and bring up the future-Don't go to the boyfriend and try to fix it, he will talk to her and she will get upset and push you away as a result. Instead bring up the future and ask her if they both have the same life goals. When are things like marriage, children,a new home ect coming into the picture? How is he preparing to secure the future.

Are those things the same things she wants, no sense wasting your time with someone without the same goals, and she will realize this.

Remember to let her know before saying anything that you have her best interests at heart. That way she doesn't get defensive and shut you out before you can explain yourself.

Understand that some will be very stubborn and some that won't listen to anything or anyone. 

You just have to trust that they know whats best for them at that time in life and you either agree or disagree. Whatever you choose is the best for yourself.

I 

You can't choose everyone's spouse, or anything for that matter. Sometimes you just have to wait it out, be patient or civil. If you can't do that, then the friendship isn't worth it.